Eating Elsie
by Beth Smith
Summary: Roger wants a hamburger... What's the big deal?


**Title:** Eating Elsie  
**Fandom:** RENT  
**Genre:** Humor/General  
**Rating**: PG  
**Main Characters:** Roger, but the gang's all here... ('Cept Angel and Benny)  
**Pairings:** Roger/Mimi, Joanne/Maureen  
**Spoilers:** Don't read it if you haven't seen the movie  
**Warnings:** Um... Can't think of any  
**Short Summary:** Roger wants a hamburger... What's the big deal?

**Authors Note: **I wrote this a long time ago. It' a bit random, but enjoy it just the same. 

It was a Friday evening in Roger and Mark's apartment. But it wasn't just any Friday evening. It was Halloween, and the whole group... Roger, Mark, Collins, Mimi, Maureen, and Joanne... had gathered in honor of Angel, as they'd done every Halloween for the last several years since they'd lost their friend.

The friends were talking about all of the things that they missed about Angel. How she'd always made them smile. How she could kick butt in high heels. How much she loved all of them, and how much she gave to see them happy and safe. Though none of them wanted to end the time of reminiscing, they all laughed when they heard Mark's stomach growling.

"I think that means it's time for takeout," Roger said happily. He hadn't eaten since lunchtime, and he was getting pretty hungry himself.

Collins laughed. He was so glad to have these friends who could make him laugh despite the fact that he still ached over the loss of Angel. He loved having them around to keep him laughing, just like Angel always had. Angel had loved to laugh with her friends. And Collins knew that, wherever she was, she was laughing too. He grinned at them and said, "Well, if somebody calls it in, I'll go get it."

"I'll go with you," Mark added.

Mimi opened a drawer on a coffee table, pulled out a notepad and a pen and said with a quirk of her eyebrow, "Welcome to Mimi's. May I take your order?"

Roger laughed at her and said, "I want a... double cheeseburger all the way... a large order of fries, and a Sam Adams Light."

"Beer's in the fridge, babe," Mimi said, rolling her eyes as Maureen started off on some rant about how that poor cow had to sacrifice his or her life to become Roger's hamburger. Roger shook his head, not listening. Good ol' Maureen.

Despite the fact that she agreed with Maureen, Mimi stayed out of it. She'd given up on making a vegetarian out of Roger long ago.

Maureen asked for a soyburger with only ketchup, tomato, and lettuce.

Roger made a gagging motion and laughed, but not before Maureen had gotten back on his case about "animal cruelty." "Roger!" she exclaimed. "Do you KNOW what they DO to those poor cows? It's cruel! Why should we be allowed to kill other living beings to feed ourselves? Why do you think that you're better than that poor cow?"

But Roger didn't hear anything after the first question, because he'd turned up the volume on his amplifier and had begun playing "Musetta's Waltz" as loudly as he possibly could. "Sorry, Maureen! Can't hear you!" he yelled over the racket that had the people downstairs beating the ceiling and yelling for him to shut up.

Maureen just got louder, but Joanne grabbed her hand. "Baby, he's not going to change his mind."

"And," Mark added. "He's not going to quit playing until you..."

Mark (looking at Maureen) and Joanne (looking at Roger) finished together with, "SHUT UP!"

Roger stopped playing abruptly, staring at Joanne and Mark. He grinned, turned his amp back down, and continued playing as Mimi finished taking orders.

"Roger, baby, cut it out!" Mimi said, throwing her hat at him. "I can't hear myself think! Much less hear them talk!"

Roger was in a ridiculously weird mood. He grinned at her, and in a most childish, sing-songy fashion, said, "I can't hear you. Tofu dogs are gro-oss! I don't wanna hear it!"

Mimi rolled her eyes and leaned closer to hear what it was that Collins wanted to eat.

She got Roger to shut up and quit playing long enough to call the order in, after which Roger immediately went back to playing.

"We're not talking about soy or tofu anymore," Mark yelled.

Roger turned off the amp and set aside his guitar. "Oh... OK."

Collins and Mark went for the food, while the others stayed at the apartment.

"Roger," Maureen began, her tone giving away where she was going... Again.

The blonde man reached for his guitar, a grin playing at his lips, eyes sparkling.

"OK, OK," she said, rolling her eyes. "I just don't see how you can eat a living thing. It's just wrong."

Roger looked at her seriously. "It's _not_ living. At least, not when it's on my plate. And I don't see how _you_ can eat a soy burger. It's just _gross_!"

Maureen rolled her eyes. There was alot more she wanted to say, but God knew that she did NOT want to hear "Musetta's Waltz" anymore. She'd lived with Roger when she'd lived with Mark, and all she'd heard was "Musetta's Waltz" for days on end. And for God's sake, she wouldn't do it again.

Collin's and Mark brought the food back, and the group chowed down, laughter floating across the room as they did what they'd come to do.

Remember Angel.


End file.
